


Whatness

by notjustmom



Series: Words, Words, Words [161]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Gen, Johnlock Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 06:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6227740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>whatness: noun: hwät-nəs, ˈwät-, ˈ(h)wət-: essence of something</p><p>first used 1611</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatness

The flat was still; the morning light barely making itself known, the city outside yawning and stretching awake, when Sherlock opened his eyes. He was still growing accustomed to waking up with John nestled next to him; somehow John always ended up behind him, his left arm draped lightly around Sherlock's hip, his legs entwined with his, his breath tickling his neck. He considered getting up, as he usually did, as John, once asleep, slept like a rock, but instead, he rolled carefully, so he could look at the man who finally shared his bed. 

It had taken them months of sidestepping the elephant; case after case, nights where they almost fell into bed, then John would blink, get ready for a date, or claim exhaustion and go upstairs to bed. Sherlock would shake his head, try to not need or want anyone, especially not the man who seemed to be the one person on the planet who could tolerate, perhaps even like him a bit, and torture his violin until the sentiments were pushed back down, and he could function again.

As he examined the sleeping man next to him, he wondered...what...what was it about John that was different than every other person he had ever met? There was something in his essence, in his very whatness that made Sherlock want to be better or at least not as much himself. And yet, John claimed to love him as he was...

 

It was a case three weeks, 2 days and 5 hours ago, the one that nearly killed him, that finally gave him the courage to admit his feelings, even if it was in front of Donovan, Lestrade and yes, even Anderson...

They had run down the suspect, as usual, John had tackled him and was holding him at gunpoint, as usual, when his partner surprised Sherlock from behind, which for all his recklessness, was not so usual. "Stupid, stupid, stupid...of course there was a..." was his last thought until he woke up twenty minutes later, his head in John's lap, the Yard's 'finest' surrounding them.

"Hey," John had whispered. "There you are. Thought we almost lost you for a moment."

"John-"

"No, don't try to talk right now, we have to get you checked out, yeah?"

He managed to whisper, "I love you," as he passed out again. 

Of course it had only been a concussion, but because he had lost consciousness twice, they made him stay in hospital overnight. He grumbled and complained, but John quieted him with a slightly quivering finger on his lips. "Shhh, it's just one night, then I can take you home, yeah?" And then, John kissed him softly, and they both stopped breathing for a moment. "I've been uhm, wanting to do that...for...damn it...sorry."

"Why? Why are you sorry?" 

"I thought-"

"What?"

"...'Married to the Work'..."

"We got a divorce a few months ago..."

"Ah."

 

John rubbed at his nose, then slowly blinked awake. "Mornin'."

Sherlock nodded and continued to consider the man who now looked at him curiously. "You all right? Feeling under the weather?" 

Sherlock shook his head and sighed. "I'm just trying to...deduce what it is exactly...that thing that makes you...hmm. What is it about you that I can't seem to breathe without? I seemed to be able to breathe before I met you, at least I think I did, but, now, I'm not so sure about that..."

John grinned and kissed him. "Does it matter?"

Sherlock took a deep breath and shrugged, "I suppose some things are meant to be mysteries." 

John nodded and pulled him closer, and they spent the rest of the morning silently investigating one another.


End file.
